Lets Actually Talk... Hunger Games

So maybe today's post will be somewhat soapboxy.  But I'm ok with that... I am a girl in today's world after all!  This is post 1 of however many on subjects that are oftentimes considered too PC, too risky, too cliche to talk about.  Hence the title Let's Actually Talk.  I suppose I should also say here that these are simply my views... I'd love to hear yours too!  Part of talking means engaging in dialogue... which you need more than one person for. 

I watched Hunger Games yesterday (great film!) and spent 5 minutes after the film venting to my boyfriend (poor guy) about how the scene showing District 11 revolting and then being met by white men in all white suits hosing down the rioters looked too familiar.  Upon further investigation, it turns out there was a lot of press given to the choice of Rue being a black actress, which some people felt was inaccurate (Google it- you'll find out those people are wrong.  But damn there are some nasty tweets about it!).  My question is, was District 11 chosen as the poor, black district simply because that's how the author intended them to be portrayed?  Or is there more than meets the eye in the 5 minute clip?  After all, the revolting doesn't even happen until the 2nd book...

What if the stereotypical portrayal of the only black characters in the movie as the poor, uprising, "trouble causing" group is yet another reminder of US history, not so dissimilar from the hunger games reminding districts of the past?  It's a bit extreme, I know- we certainly aren't showing a fight to the death blood bath.  But the civil rights movement wasn't pretty, and lives were lost in the hopes of future change.  Thank goodness that change did come.  But I wonder whether the producers really thought through their decision to have the one scene in the movie involving uprising be a black community, and what message that sends to viewers across the nation and around the world. 

The Mess that Leads Home

With the Olympics going on, you'd think my post would be focused on the girls who try their best, but don't succeed. Nope... instead it's about getting what I need instead of what I want.  In case you haven't realized it, yes I'm quoting Coldplay right now.  I recently saw them in concert and they played the song "Fix You".  Going to bed tonight, I couldn't help but think of its lyrics. 

For fear of my horoscope for the day coming true (thank you Metro), I won't give you the dirty laundry secrets of today's events. But lets just say someone very important to me disappointed me, my family, and those close to me (including my boyfriend).  My emotions have been all over the place today... but the biggest one was actually surrounding the fact that today, Aug. 7, was the day I was supposed to come home from serving in Atlanta.  Instead of coming home to everyone embracing me, pampering me, being proud of me, I spent the day filled with shame and guilt for my part in the events that unfolded, and I was surrounded by the hurt caused to me and others by this one person's decisions. 

What am I getting at?  Well, on the one hand- I'm disappointed.  That my day didn't go as planned. That being home this summer has led to some hard relationship truths.  That instead of being the hero of the summer, I felt like the big screw up.  "When you try your best, but you don't succeed... when you lose something you can't replace".  But how does the song end?  "Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try to fix you".  This mess that I got myself into... that this person got us all into... must have some redeeming qualities about it.  There must be a lesson for each of us.  And I'm already starting to see it.  It's challenging me personally, relationally, and even professionally.  Despite coming home expecting to find the next world war and anger directed my way, I found grace and a sense of calm.  Which, honestly, might be more real than the grandeur welcome home I might have received.  As they say at the end of the song, "Tears stream down you're face... I promise you I will learn from these mistakes".  May we all look back on our recent mistakes and failures as messes that in reality lead us home. 

Why Waste?

So I was at the mall today and saw this for sale.  I love these little sayings... they usually make you smile and think, man life is great.  But then I started really thinking about the meaning, and how perfectly this fits into my life right now in a somewhat frustrating way.

Long story short, I though I'd be in Atlanta for the summer serving with a Christian mission organization called YouthWorks.  It didn't work out... rather quickly in fact.  I have struggled with anxiety for most of my life (maybe that will be another post... then again, who really wants to hear someone go on and on about their struggles when we all have them?) and it came on like never expected while in Atlanta, so I had to return home to be healthy.  I went through this whole version of the Kubler-Ross DABDA grief process- tiredness, anger, questioning, acceptance, enjoyment, frustration.  I knew that after the first few weeks of lounging, doing some part-time work, and being with friends and family that the little voice in my head would start going off.  Sure enough, it has.  This time that I am supposed to "enjoy" wasting, according to the sign, has become time that seems to go on and on with little enjoyment and mostly frustration coming from it.

Staying busy is basically one of my defining qualities.  So at this point mid summer, I'm beginning to go a little... ok, a lot... stir crazy.  I recently said to my boyfriend "what is my purpose anymore?  I'm not doing the things that are important to me!"  The reality is, though, that I am.  I'm seeing friends.  I'm being supportive to my family (did I mention I'm living at home for the first time in about 4 years?)  I'm volunteering at a local organization (www.hgrm.org).  And I'm resting by reading, doing art, walking my dog.  So maybe in these little moments where I think, gosh I did nothing today..., I need to stop and think about the ways I did enjoy the day- and how that enjoyment means there was no wasted time.

What will you do this weekend to "waste" time for the purpose of enjoying life?